Alright, guys. Confession time. This is the most I've ever weighed in my life. I carry my weight in my stomach. Hello Food Baby! I'm disgusted with myself. I have no motivation. I'm lazy. I'm also an emotional eater. When I have a bad day, I want nachos. When I feel bad about myself or my weight, I eat. See the problem? Oh and I refuse to sip the kale-aid everybody is currently on. I also refuse to make myself miserable and never eat anything good again. See my second problem? I'm also the worst runner known to man, so binge cardio is out of the question.
I find myself saying I'm fat. I'm disgusted with myself. I need to lose weight. I just want to be skinny again. Nothing looks good on me. I hate my food baby. Blah blah whine whine whine. I say all of these things multiple times a day, but I don't do anything about it. I don't run. I don't go to the gym. I work at a coffee shop with access to every delicious pastry you could ever imagine.
I have officially decided that hating the way I look every second of every day is not worth the god damn cookie. (sorry family) I also don't eat cookies that often, but I bought those delicious frosting cookies the other night at Target and that's been my treat of the week.
I'm tired of being self conscious. I'm tired of worrying if people are looking at my food baby. I'm tired of feeling like the "fat friend". And I'm sooo tired of playing the comparison game with everybody I have ever known on social media.
I'm writing this post to hold myself accountable. I've done it before and it worked. So here I am. Bearing my fat cushioned soul to you. (dramatic, I know) If you feel the same way I do, let's help each other out. Email me. Comment. I could definitely use some friends and some motivation.
I won't be doing anything drastic. I don't want to weigh 100 pounds or anything cray. I'm 5'9". It won't be happening. Just being active. (potential gym membership in my future) Making better food choices. And hopefully finding ways other than food to make myself feel better when I'm upset.
So lets do this! Share your tips if you have any! :)
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We are like the same person! Except I'm almost a foot shorter than you so 100 pounds is my goal haha but for real #helpmeimfat
ReplyDeleteBack in the fall, I weighed the most I've ever weighed. I'm 5'9" and was 185. I started making better food choices in the spring, drank more water, and ate only when I was hungry. I worked on self-confidence bc I could be skinny as a stick, be self-conscious, and not feel better about myself. Along with those things, I never stepped on the scale. I didn't want the scale to rule my life. 2 weeks ago, I went to the doctor because I was sick and had to step on that dreaded scale. I was 165!!! My jaw dropped. I didn't realize how much change their was! Plus, I felt better about who I was and my body! I still have about 15 more I would like to lose.
ReplyDeleteAll this to say, YOU GOT THIS!!! Be comfortable in your skin, love yourself, and the rest will follow!
The Spontaneous Idealist
girl I totally feel your pain! I weigh the most I ever have, and have a major sweet tooth. I constantly tell myself that I feel gross and disgusting. why is it so easy to gain but so hard to lose?? We got this though! Time to get back on track :)
ReplyDeletethe kale-aid, lmao! good luck :)
ReplyDeleteYou're so brave for sharing this on here, so kudos to you for that! This is a great way to hold yourself accountable. Just know that you have a whole blog community behind you, cheering you on. Good luck on your journey to a healthy lifestyle (that was cheesy. Oh well).
ReplyDeleteI almost write this exact post every single week. I have an elliptical in my freaking living room and I still can't find the motivation (or accountability) to use it a few times a week. I eat pretty well, most of the time, but I could still stand to change a few things.
ReplyDeleteI think that sharing with others is a great step. It does raise the accountability aspect. Now that you have promised to us that you will be working on your health, it is a little easier. I hope you are able to reach your goals. Not because you are, by any stretch of the imagination, fat...but so you feel good in your skin.
ReplyDelete