- "OMG I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!" - The Over Exaggerator. If your relationship was really THAT good, we wouldn't be hearing about it. Are you trying to convince yourself? Or us of his greatness?
- "Aunt Flo is here to visit. Who wants to bring me cake?" - The Over Sharer. Gross. Nobody cares.
- "Someone do something with me, please!!!" - The Begger. There might be a reason nobody is "hitting you up."
- "Hey cutie. We should be friends." - The Creeper. Boys, do yourself a favor. Delete your social media accounts and crawl in a hole.
- "You think it's cute to cheat?? I'll show you!!"... five minutes later. "Oh baby, I love you!" - The Crazy Girlfriend. You make yourself look stupid. Nobody feels bad for you anymore. The end.
- "Don't you hate when your friend's don't write you back?? (Tags person) - The Name Dropper. You look CRAZY. Maybe your friend is busy...doing other things besides stalking people on Facebook.
- "Send me lives on Candy Crush!" - The Lame Gamer. NO. I do not want to play that game. I do not want to send you lives or whatever they are called. I have ignored your 10,007 requests to play. For. A. Reason.
- "So & So liked your picture from 2007." - The Social Media Stalker. WHY? This is not throwback thursday. No need to comment. The pictures are usually not cute anyway. Leave them in the past where they belong.
- "I hate my life." - The Negative One. Stop crying wolf. People don't like your negativity. And when they try and help, you respond with "I don't want to talk about it!" Obviously you did. Or you wouldn't have posted it for all 396 of us to see.
- "So & So uploaded 12 new pictures." - The Attention Seeker. WE KNOW WHAT YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE. No need to post 12 selfies.
- "OMG, I'm so handsome and rich and funny and you should be sad you missed out!" - The Desperate Guy You Used To Date (for like one week). You are not handsome. Or rich. Or funny. You are desperate and annoying. Move on.
The end. Sooo uhhh. Let's be friends? Unless you are one of the people mentioned above...JK.
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